Airplanes
the airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars are
I Could really use a wish right
now wish wish right now right now ...
Then there are those moments when you would not want to think about anything. In which nothing should be. In which questions should be avoided with ease, as if they had never been asked.
E 'that I can not not think about not express myself, not to look at everything with objectivity.
Extreme, clinical Epulon. The feelings out, only room for reason. It 'annoying in a hallucinatory way.
're close to those who want, all without exception. Still missing. Something, those details that would make it even more perfect. But
than would be needed to shooting stars? Not even the sky Dubai sarebe enough.
What then, more perfect. It can be said? Objectively because the word "perfect" expresses a beautiful and comprehensive concept on its own. So you can actually have something better?
I wrote this intervention on the night between eleven and twelve. Now is the night of the nineteenth and the twentieth and correct it. More than anything I add.
go over it and I can not find, remember, reason, or rather, the subject understood why I wrote it.
then play back the song and feel why. But remember to properly do not talk.
Mind absurd. I should stop writing all these people leaving implied. But at the same time I can not do without, it's like my mind goes.
Yes, because when I read in a long time, I realize that what I wrote, which seemed so beautiful, in reality is pure rambling. I can not understand why I wrote it that way, because at that very moment what I wrote seemed to make sense. Often find it absurd, written by beta you feed lilyj and everyone knows the legend of lilyj frankness. She would not comment on, or worships or destroyed.
Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job
Before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Yeah back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But now days we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes out of airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listened to my mix tapes
And back before I tried to cover up my slate
But this is for Decatur
What's up Bobby Ray?
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the music That started this shit
So here I stand And then again I say
I'm hopin 'we can Make Some wishes outta airplanes
I'm going to mention it all to end, how can I not? I'm hoping that we can express wishes with aircraft ...
Why use them much, because the song is sad. Why did you hit and sunk.
I can not really tell if the feeling is given by the voice of Hayley Williams or the words of the song. This woman has a voice so beautiful and varied ... treble and bass without any problems. Not that this
I can not do but no one ... I his bass is deep, shake you. You see, if Michelle Lea sang this song, lasciarebbe back everything. Because his voice is high and also in the bass and treble. Maybe that's why its so much patner sings in falsetto, or at least on a scale higher than normal. Or maybe it's because I
HW closed in a box called "rock-punk-stuff-that-short-breaks-no-musicals." To say that I did not recognize at the time.
I turned on the TV and the video begins, the titles already gone. Love the song I had to turn on the PC.
Entry into facebook I realize that Dani has already posted, then comment and not the place firsthand. I knew the voice of the singer, I had associated with "I caught myself, and then the hair .. but I was not sure. In short, HW in a duet? So I Googled and it was her.
I played only 3 times in a row, and then was banned because of a German without a heart who does not know what the feelings are. So now listen with earphones. Also because they are 4:20.
We can pretend that the plane / in the night sky / stars are falling? / I could really make a wish now.
And I continue to listen to it over and over again.
Because of the time, the thoughts in Italian is completely well in English? I do not want tirarmela I know English, it is only natural. It seems that in Italian there are no words that can express the concept so well.
And because the left arm continues to hurt this way? As the legs, like all those times that I have the impression that the blood does not flow, which may stop before all the damn leg numb the pain. I'm afraid. Maybe it's just cholesterol. It 's normal waking up with all these pains in my bones? I want and I do the allergy tests, analysis ... But if it were something more serious?
The fear of being deprived of food again and filled with these looks painful it makes me stay away from all those surgeries. The fear of return to running after the food, to have those hunger pangs again absurd makes me run away.
There is a light there, in the bottom of all this mess, called Dr. Amendola. I remember sitting in the chair, legs crossed on the chair, which I have done very rarely, I remember it fondly, I remember with deep pain. I remember how I cried in the study of that bitch's Cottage I scolded severely by the fact that I had not lost weight, remember how I cried in my bed because could not come from Dr. Amendola. I remember he gave me his note, should you have continue the sessions with her. I remember that Dad asked me and his angry face, waiting for an answer. That was a yes, in the form of a no. The form of tears, again.
What they do not inform me, about the reopening of my medical records, is the fact that my come to know him. And this would destroy me because I would fight with their eyes, with uncomfortable questions and silences.
And if you could tell me that in reality there is nothing to cure? That is just selfishness what I will be able to want to be looked like a normal person and not the pretty girl and nice but unfortunately fat.
Too often lately I wanted to raise a phone to get a good chat. But there was a refusal to receive the courage to not receive attention when I desperately needed.
Maybe I did, but I always ended the call due to commitments. I remember when you told me "I can not tell what will happen, and how to conduct myself then, but now there are. Take it as it comes. "
Most likely then that it arrived.
and then back on my feet alone. Again. Can we pretend
the airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars are
I Could really use right now
a wish wish wish right now right now ...
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Polaroid Impulse Yellow
Touches you
You think you're better
're Better Than Me
You blow me off as history
To Avoid conversation, you're ignoring me
Too much in one day.
Mika's concert, a show of the Plague and the birthday of Mark.
For peace in the family are going to last, though I did not want to, I could not wear the dress I wanted (because would be considered ridiculous by anyone), I could not wear the shirt I wanted because I put on weight again, which made me fall off a cliff.
I'm trying to eat better, which to me means a little better and a little better than not enough. Last July I had come to weigh, finally, after exhausting 72 kg (maybe) month of fasting, exercise and calorie counts. Two weeks in Italy I have enough to resume 6 kg and another 4 were added during the period when I let myself go, simply because I found someone who loved me for who I am, who I loved more than me itself. But the point is this: I do not like me. I want to lose weight, I want to be thin, I want to be a normal person, I will not be addidata, I do not want to look bad when I order at a restaurant, I do not want to be looked at as evil within a store, I do not want to be watched while I eat badly. I want to be able to walk to face higher, not caring what the rest says, because I'm perfect.
The fact that those who love me, I am already perfect, not comfort me much.
I do not like me there is nothing else to say.
do not have enough willpower to diet, which is why I find a warm and comforting refuge in fasting. Or better, even with the fasting, the situation is absurd because I can fast for two days (two really good days) but then have attacks of hunger that I just stop in front of a normal portion. And it's the same with the diet. I can follow advice and weights, but when I get an attack of hunger I eat. I can not help, I have to. The only solution at this moment is sleep. Why any other suggestions (including the ones Anam are fantastic even if I do not hold up) requires a force of will that I did not. Vanilla too easily, it breaks too easily. And the attack of hunger needs time to pass, and even when he is past and so easy to enjoy a snack and finish in an empty refrigerator.
sleep, fasting, ana, mia, are actually so dramatic and so beautiful that they ask you to give up everything else. You can not have them and someone else. Simply no. Because everyone around you is difficult to understand your needs and will accept, and agree to meet in a place where there is no food available, not comment on your own meals or let you sleep. No. Because I do is wrong and I realize, but it seems to me to keep things faster and easier to get out of my problems. Why
the rest can only comment and funny jokes that are not funny at all. And I laugh, Scherzer and we'll play the part that knows that you are fat and try to live with or who is slowly trying to get back to normal.
bother me, immensely, the meager who say they are fat. What I think is: Are you ever walked into a store and look for him because in all contracts that place is not there and there will never be anything about your size? No. Have you ever ordered a large portion because you're hungry, bed and disgust on the look of the waiter? No. Have you ever eaten with the eyes of people around you bet with huge crap on your plate? No. Have you ever been singled out or ridiculed for your body shape? No. SO DO NOT DARE TO SPEAK.
I tend not to judge, because there are none and I can not, but anyone who touches my sensitivity deserves to suffer. At least in my thoughts.
When You've Had Enough and you need somebody to know When you're looking tough
But you need a way to let it go
Come on now, what's a boy
Supposed To Do When I Can not Seem To Leave You Alone
Touching me touching you
My concept of normality is difficult to explain. For me it is normal to the model is too thin, in spite of envy, I can (perhaps) to understand the disease being so thin. Similarly it is not normal for me to be too fat, but only to see happiness in the eyes of the fat person ... then the class changes and becomes normal. But if you plainly saw happiness in the eyes of the person too thin for me ... would not normally. Maybe because I know that to be so skinny you should remove from it all and I can not leave my friends. And perhaps returns to normal for me to be fat and happy because it is a category in which I fall But I can not fix myself into it.
I want to be your brother, want to be your father too
Never make you run for cover
Even If They Want us to
I want to be your sister,
want to be your mother I want to be too
want Whatever else be
That Touches You
Whatever else
Whatever That Touches You else That Touches You
Very often I find myself thinking that I need help, a real help, recognizable in a food psychologist, but at the same time I do such a step would put me in comparison to the problems themselves. Why should I talk about it. And I can not speak. I can not talk without crying, and crying in front of others destroys me.
Why are they so complicated? Maybe because I've always been alone? Because I never had many friends, because I never open to someone so much until I attended the final year of high school? Why I abandoned the study, reading? Why was I abandoned the computer in the distant friends (who are the only ones I have) and in the world of fantasy? I have no idea.
I know that talking and thinking, although everyone says I'm a chatterbox (of chatter, but not all grasp the difference), I started analyzing everything around me, asking me millions of questions and imagine all possible scenarios regarding the most diverse situations.
For fear of losing, losing your way
Just stop and listen to the Things That They Say To Avoid confrontation
You walk away
Tonight I started writing because I'm reading a story where there are secrets, too, that hurt. Actually true that hurt. Juvenile abuse, bullying, sexual abuse of peers. My feeling always ends up out of it destroyed because I am too sensitive, or anything else, for each noise and emotion.
I started writing because I was reminded of two summers ago and endless phone calls, and of course because I was going.
Growing up When I need to compromise
When I've Had Enough 20 years and I Realize
Come on now, what's a boy Supposed to do When I can not
Seem To Leave You Alone
Touching me touching you
I have few friends, but they are good. Even if you do not feel for the dawn of time, always reveal the best in the world when I need something. Maybe they do not consider me a friend, but are important to me and I'd do anything for them.
There is one thing that I always wanted to talk about, is one of the most important people in my life, not only because it made me happy the male part of me, but because thanks to him I felt a happiness ; as few (this time not related to you). I have never spoken to him because he attended sincerely (-ava) this place. But what I did not speak, he made the LJ (assuming I want the clearest ever) an artifact, and I will not. I never spoke to him frankly why you attended, and I do not want to create problems. But I'm tired, and I must be relevant to myself. He will never get to read here at the end because you get bored in the third row. And 'well done, suits me, I love it. But she might read it. But who knows when. And who knows how to land if its ruminations without telling me.
Why I do what we understand in Monkey, but in reality, is one of two people I do not understand a shit. That leaves me in no doubt will, that does not ever answer, or maybe later. Maybe with acts that I will understand immediately (or ever). So you might as well speak of him, right?
Well, he was the person who made me feel like a woman. Maybe fooling around, but with his serious face, with his kisses on the neck with his hand constantly on my ass, made me feel attractive, and I was treated like all the other guys have always treated the other girls. Ways, words, attention, details that I have never been addressed. And then they made me feel alive. It made me feel appreciated as a girl, and that is normal way I want it near me, I want to send time with him, I want to continue to make YOU happy. Why are so perfect together that it hurts to watch.
is also irrelevant, annoying and selfish. It 's true. It is not a mask affibilità continues to be nice or pleasant at all, absolutely not. He is so direct in everything we think, feel and see and sente.Lui says it, does not care about anything, it made me laugh so true happiness and be proud of him even though I'm nobody and I know very little. I love him, I can not do anything. Broke through into my heart with his sharp words and glances. All right, because it's true.
I want to be your brother, want to be your father too
Never make you run for cover
Even If They Want us to
I want to be your sister,
want to be your mother I want to be too
want Whatever else be
That Touches You
When You've Had Enough
and you need somebody to know When you're looking tough
But You need a way to let it go
Come on now, what's Supposed to do a boy
But I can not Seem To Leave You Alone
Touching me touching you
next Saturday before going out dancing with my friends, I'll go to another happy family gathering because it is the birthday of her grandmother. I do not want (especially to translate stupid things to Sascha, who will be the attraction of the evening), I can not wear the dress I want, wear what you definitely do not fall down as I want because I'm FAT.
You think you're better
're Better Than Me
You blow me off as history
To Avoid conversation, you're ignoring me
Too much in one day.
Mika's concert, a show of the Plague and the birthday of Mark.
For peace in the family are going to last, though I did not want to, I could not wear the dress I wanted (because would be considered ridiculous by anyone), I could not wear the shirt I wanted because I put on weight again, which made me fall off a cliff.
I'm trying to eat better, which to me means a little better and a little better than not enough. Last July I had come to weigh, finally, after exhausting 72 kg (maybe) month of fasting, exercise and calorie counts. Two weeks in Italy I have enough to resume 6 kg and another 4 were added during the period when I let myself go, simply because I found someone who loved me for who I am, who I loved more than me itself. But the point is this: I do not like me. I want to lose weight, I want to be thin, I want to be a normal person, I will not be addidata, I do not want to look bad when I order at a restaurant, I do not want to be looked at as evil within a store, I do not want to be watched while I eat badly. I want to be able to walk to face higher, not caring what the rest says, because I'm perfect.
The fact that those who love me, I am already perfect, not comfort me much.
I do not like me there is nothing else to say.
do not have enough willpower to diet, which is why I find a warm and comforting refuge in fasting. Or better, even with the fasting, the situation is absurd because I can fast for two days (two really good days) but then have attacks of hunger that I just stop in front of a normal portion. And it's the same with the diet. I can follow advice and weights, but when I get an attack of hunger I eat. I can not help, I have to. The only solution at this moment is sleep. Why any other suggestions (including the ones Anam are fantastic even if I do not hold up) requires a force of will that I did not. Vanilla too easily, it breaks too easily. And the attack of hunger needs time to pass, and even when he is past and so easy to enjoy a snack and finish in an empty refrigerator.
sleep, fasting, ana, mia, are actually so dramatic and so beautiful that they ask you to give up everything else. You can not have them and someone else. Simply no. Because everyone around you is difficult to understand your needs and will accept, and agree to meet in a place where there is no food available, not comment on your own meals or let you sleep. No. Because I do is wrong and I realize, but it seems to me to keep things faster and easier to get out of my problems. Why
the rest can only comment and funny jokes that are not funny at all. And I laugh, Scherzer and we'll play the part that knows that you are fat and try to live with or who is slowly trying to get back to normal.
bother me, immensely, the meager who say they are fat. What I think is: Are you ever walked into a store and look for him because in all contracts that place is not there and there will never be anything about your size? No. Have you ever ordered a large portion because you're hungry, bed and disgust on the look of the waiter? No. Have you ever eaten with the eyes of people around you bet with huge crap on your plate? No. Have you ever been singled out or ridiculed for your body shape? No. SO DO NOT DARE TO SPEAK.
I tend not to judge, because there are none and I can not, but anyone who touches my sensitivity deserves to suffer. At least in my thoughts.
When You've Had Enough and you need somebody to know When you're looking tough
But you need a way to let it go
Come on now, what's a boy
Supposed To Do When I Can not Seem To Leave You Alone
Touching me touching you
My concept of normality is difficult to explain. For me it is normal to the model is too thin, in spite of envy, I can (perhaps) to understand the disease being so thin. Similarly it is not normal for me to be too fat, but only to see happiness in the eyes of the fat person ... then the class changes and becomes normal. But if you plainly saw happiness in the eyes of the person too thin for me ... would not normally. Maybe because I know that to be so skinny you should remove from it all and I can not leave my friends. And perhaps returns to normal for me to be fat and happy because it is a category in which I fall But I can not fix myself into it.
I want to be your brother, want to be your father too
Never make you run for cover
Even If They Want us to
I want to be your sister,
want to be your mother I want to be too
want Whatever else be
That Touches You
Whatever else
Whatever That Touches You else That Touches You
Very often I find myself thinking that I need help, a real help, recognizable in a food psychologist, but at the same time I do such a step would put me in comparison to the problems themselves. Why should I talk about it. And I can not speak. I can not talk without crying, and crying in front of others destroys me.
Why are they so complicated? Maybe because I've always been alone? Because I never had many friends, because I never open to someone so much until I attended the final year of high school? Why I abandoned the study, reading? Why was I abandoned the computer in the distant friends (who are the only ones I have) and in the world of fantasy? I have no idea.
I know that talking and thinking, although everyone says I'm a chatterbox (of chatter, but not all grasp the difference), I started analyzing everything around me, asking me millions of questions and imagine all possible scenarios regarding the most diverse situations.
For fear of losing, losing your way
Just stop and listen to the Things That They Say To Avoid confrontation
You walk away
Tonight I started writing because I'm reading a story where there are secrets, too, that hurt. Actually true that hurt. Juvenile abuse, bullying, sexual abuse of peers. My feeling always ends up out of it destroyed because I am too sensitive, or anything else, for each noise and emotion.
I started writing because I was reminded of two summers ago and endless phone calls, and of course because I was going.
Growing up When I need to compromise
When I've Had Enough 20 years and I Realize
Come on now, what's a boy Supposed to do When I can not
Seem To Leave You Alone
Touching me touching you
I have few friends, but they are good. Even if you do not feel for the dawn of time, always reveal the best in the world when I need something. Maybe they do not consider me a friend, but are important to me and I'd do anything for them.
There is one thing that I always wanted to talk about, is one of the most important people in my life, not only because it made me happy the male part of me, but because thanks to him I felt a happiness ; as few (this time not related to you). I have never spoken to him because he attended sincerely (-ava) this place. But what I did not speak, he made the LJ (assuming I want the clearest ever) an artifact, and I will not. I never spoke to him frankly why you attended, and I do not want to create problems. But I'm tired, and I must be relevant to myself. He will never get to read here at the end because you get bored in the third row. And 'well done, suits me, I love it. But she might read it. But who knows when. And who knows how to land if its ruminations without telling me.
Why I do what we understand in Monkey, but in reality, is one of two people I do not understand a shit. That leaves me in no doubt will, that does not ever answer, or maybe later. Maybe with acts that I will understand immediately (or ever). So you might as well speak of him, right?
Well, he was the person who made me feel like a woman. Maybe fooling around, but with his serious face, with his kisses on the neck with his hand constantly on my ass, made me feel attractive, and I was treated like all the other guys have always treated the other girls. Ways, words, attention, details that I have never been addressed. And then they made me feel alive. It made me feel appreciated as a girl, and that is normal way I want it near me, I want to send time with him, I want to continue to make YOU happy. Why are so perfect together that it hurts to watch.
is also irrelevant, annoying and selfish. It 's true. It is not a mask affibilità continues to be nice or pleasant at all, absolutely not. He is so direct in everything we think, feel and see and sente.Lui says it, does not care about anything, it made me laugh so true happiness and be proud of him even though I'm nobody and I know very little. I love him, I can not do anything. Broke through into my heart with his sharp words and glances. All right, because it's true.
I want to be your brother, want to be your father too
Never make you run for cover
Even If They Want us to
I want to be your sister,
want to be your mother I want to be too
want Whatever else be
That Touches You
When You've Had Enough
and you need somebody to know When you're looking tough
But You need a way to let it go
Come on now, what's Supposed to do a boy
But I can not Seem To Leave You Alone
Touching me touching you
next Saturday before going out dancing with my friends, I'll go to another happy family gathering because it is the birthday of her grandmother. I do not want (especially to translate stupid things to Sascha, who will be the attraction of the evening), I can not wear the dress I want, wear what you definitely do not fall down as I want because I'm FAT.
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